Into Space 002: Combining spaces
Moving in with your SO — blending style, finding middle ground, & going from mine to ours.
Context for today’s post: My boyfriend (Will) of almost 3 years moved into my condo after about 6 months dating (when you know you know!) I am particular about my interior style, and about my interiors in general (Virgo Sun). I had been living at my condo for about 2 years before Will moved in. Will is the first boyfriend I’ve lived with. I am very lucky as Will is an art major and has lots of cool things to play with design-wise. This piece is written from the specific perspective of having your partner move into your place.
References to “my home, my place” mean the same condo that I once lived in alone and now is ours.
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Hi!
Having your partner move into your space is an exciting new chapter. Since you’re into design, it could potentially be challenging as you navigate the integration of someone else and all that comes with them into your space. Sometimes you can feel protective of a space that was once just yours, and although you are so excited for having your partner move in, the idea of melding another style with yours can feel complicated.
The overall tip I would offer here would be to not care that much about aesthetics, but your journey together as partners. That comes first, how nice your apartment looks comes later. Anyway, if you’ve already established that foundation, then let’s do this!
Going from “My Place” to “Our Place”
Naturally, when one moves to a new home, some things don’t make the trip. Will and I started with a slow moving-over of his items, and this allowed both of us to pick and choose what made the journey. Additionally, there’s also the task of clearing space for the new things to come in, so this is not a one-sided declutter. This part is key: start with less, either by minimizing before merging or slowly bringing things over time. I will also note that the initial declutter should be somewhat individual. It can be a lot for someone to come into your space and start picking out things that, in their opinion, should be removed. Items are nichely sentimental, so it’s best to do a little declutter on your own first without an outside opinion.
The goal of the initial move in (especially when you lived there first) is the psychological transition from “my place” to “our place”. Language is powerful in supporting your partner moving in, and not feeling like they’re on an endless sleepover at someone else’s house. The physical space also has a huge affect on this. Think about it: when you walk into a home and see your things, it feels like your home.
Art
Something I will say is, which is true with all art, keep an open mind. Will holds a masters in art and curatorial studies, so he came with some goodies, but also one massive weird one (literally a 4’ x 4’ painted canvas, seen below). I will admit, it took a while to grow on me, but now I love. Part of the reason I love it is due to how much Will loves it. If there are art pieces that come over that are…questionable, consider where it’s being hung or if the framing/matting could use a refresh.
Books
People generally acquire a lot of books over their life, so this could be a good moment for the both of you to edit your bookshelves and keep books that are sentimental or otherwise of importance, and donate the rest. Books can also be used as decor items, stacked horizontally with a candle on top, things like that.
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Combining spaces
Home Office set-up
Will has a job where he works from home more often than not, so there is a balance of functionality we have to achieve as he works in our 400sqft living room-dining room-kitchen. Being minimal with physical work items, such as documents and other papers is key, and pretty easy as most things are digital these days. We don’t have a dedicated desk set up for him, he spends most of the day working at the kitchen table. The furniture in our home can be easily moved around, for example, the piano bench can move to beside the armchair, so Will can sit in a comfy chair and have his notebook and coffee beside him. If you have more space or a dedicated office space, sourcing an updated desk and chair together will give your partner the functional space they need while balancing the visual needs of the home.
TVs & Gaming set-up
Something I’ve come to understand about Canadian households (and living with a man) is that you do kind of ‘need’ a tv. My stance is that this requires a closed storage solution. Visually, exposed wires, consoles, etc., can bring chaotic energy to your space. Closed storage options are abundant and affordable on marketplace, and if you read Death to the bar cart1, you will know that it will give your space an air of maturity. Amazing start to your next chapter!
Recommendations for both gaming set-up & tv consoles:
Style side note: Our condo has ‘the pole’, and there have been many people trying to creatively solve ‘the pole’ by ratchet strapping a TV to it or otherwise decorating it, but I think it looks best when you just leave it alone. That being said, I do have a single piece of art on ours which looks cool — but tread carefully.
Bedroom
When your bed becomes ours, you might have to lose a few throw pillows. Most men seem to be hardwired to gravitate towards dark coloured sheets, but natural materials & light neutral colours for your bedroom textiles is an elevated combination.
Our bedding consists of a light sky-blue cotton sheet set & an ivory duvet. I did do a ‘his & hers’ pillow, because I snagged one pink stripe Tekla pillowcase on ssense sale. I got Will a french blue cotton pillowcase to be his boy pillow. Dedicated nightstands on each side of the bed, with reading lamps, completes the bedroom.
Bathroom
Separate storage for your toiletries is ideal, but if limited space is a factor, then they will have to settle for a single shelf in your recessed vanity. When making space for your SO’s toothbrush, take it as an opportunity to pare down on your skincare and beauty items. This is also a fun opportunity to combine toiletries. I generally lean more towards masculine notes anyway with scented products, links to a few faves below. This is the next step up from matching outfits—smelling the same is very cool.
SALT + STONE BODY WASH - SANTAL AND VETIVER
Love and time will create your dream space together. This is simply the first step in what I am wishing for you to be a long and loving cohabitation with your partner. As your life together progresses, you will acquire new items together, and that is really special. While writing this newsletter, Will and I reflected on already how many items around us we had picked out and brought home together.
XO, B
Into Space 001: Death to the bar cart
Hi! The demise of the bar cart: the reasons, the alternatives, and the energetic transformation it will bring to your space. A little backstory — I obviously have had a bar cart before. I actually yearned for one for so long, but I lived with roommates in tiny Kensington Market apartments with hardly enough room to keep all of our shoes, and then solo in…